Don't Visit without an Invitation

I have a cell phone, a land line, two postal addresses (street and box), and email. So when a friend I hadn't seen in a year, showed up a *1 am* recently, without any prior contact via ANY of these channels, it was unsettling. And the place was a mess, which was embarrassing.

Don't impose on people you like by visiting unannounced.

-- crabby Aunt Rachel

In subsequent weeks, this person came by twice on work nights and left a note, complaining I wasn't home. He had still never called or used email to contact me.

Watch Yo' Mouth (II)

Thumper says, in BAMBI, "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." I took that advice to heart recently at a memorial. My relationship with the dead man had been VERY complex, and sometimes all I can remember is the negative. So I refrained from making an public comments at all. (And mind you, I had cried when I heard that he had died. I had always told friends, "I love him, I just don't LIKE him.")

In my now rather long life, it's suprising how the cutting word, the negative attitude expressed in public, will come back to haunt you years later. I have more than one friend whose careers were damaged by forceful outbursts on public occasions.

Take ex-candidate McCain's graceful resignation speech in Nov. 2008 as your model. THERE was someone with true class. -- Rachel Holmen

Watch Yo' Mouth (I)

Profanity seems to be everywhere. Even George Carlin's famous seven words (or was it five?) seem common on television and in speech I hear in public places. But it *really* offends some people, people whose respect you might want, so tone it down when possible. -- Aunt Rachel