Overnight guests

Your overnight guests may need a few simple things to make them comfortable.

First, make sure they know where they will sleep and how to find the bathroom at night.  If possible, light their way; otherwise, provide a small flashlight with fresh batteries.

Be sure the bathroom has minimal supplies -- toilet paper, soap at the sink, a clean handtowel.  If you can, provide towels that have a different color and texture than others that might be in the bathroom.  You and your spouse probably know that one of you uses this towel bar, and the other one uses that bar.  But a sleepy guest at four a.m. does not, and won't want to wake you to ask.

Third, many people over 40 will probably appreciate a bed that has a headboard and a small mound of pillows in clean pillowcases.  I occasionaly have acid reflux problems and mild asthma.  At home, I sleep with my head and shoulders elevated on a small ramp of pillows.  I was recently offered a guest bed wth nice sheets and a good mattress -- set in the middle of the room, away from any walls, without a headboard.  I did round up pillows, but they skittered all over the floor as I tried to fall asleep.

Last, offer a capped bottle of water near the bed (if you can't provide a small pitcher of water and a glass).  A night table -- even a chair set near the bed-- and a box of tissues will also be appreciated.

Watch Yo' Mouth (II)

Thumper says, in BAMBI, "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." I took that advice to heart recently at a memorial. My relationship with the dead man had been VERY complex, and sometimes all I can remember is the negative. So I refrained from making an public comments at all. (And mind you, I had cried when I heard that he had died. I had always told friends, "I love him, I just don't LIKE him.")

In my now rather long life, it's suprising how the cutting word, the negative attitude expressed in public, will come back to haunt you years later. I have more than one friend whose careers were damaged by forceful outbursts on public occasions.

Take ex-candidate McCain's graceful resignation speech in Nov. 2008 as your model. THERE was someone with true class. -- Rachel Holmen